I have come to realise how fortunate i am. I may not have the world's riches or material wealth but i have abundance of the soul,mind and heart. I have people who love me and people who care about me. People i am fortunate enough to have bumped into on my own. Sometimes this world is all about loneliness in a mental cage. Its nice to have peace. Nice not to feel pressure or heed to what anyone says. Fabulous to wake up minus relationshit issues and feel like a new woman.
Nice not to pay any attention to society, people with aimless chatter or those with malice in their heart toward you. Murderers, rapists, liars and thieves. People who murder your loved ones, who steal your peace of mind and soul and murder any happiness you may have had or will have. No i am not remotely tipsy as i write this as all you readers may assume of this nonchalant nonsense, its Hallows Eve and i came back early from a party. Just exactly how does a person sleep at night knowing they have killed? Their own...? You sick twisted people...even God has no mercy on you.
Its great to be independent, earn your money, drive your car and live your life. Nothing is beyond me, i once again realise. Its fabulous as i don't need to answer to anyone or anything. I live my life how, where and when i want. If i fancy booking a flight to God knows where, i will. I'll go to the airport in 2 hours and catch my flight and make new friends on the plane. I'll learn a new language, marry a man i fall in love with and have a life. A life, thats right i said, a life.
To often , young women like me are dogged by family, society, rules and stupid other things that ruin a female's happiness.
Not me. I'm not. I never have done and i never will.
Everyone has an opinion about me. I don't expect anyless. Just keep the nonsense you read about me to yourself. After all, that's part of my job and my oh my-don't the press like to gossip... ;)
I am one hell of a fabulous woman and ALL the credit goes to my mother. She is an AMAZING LADY!!!!!
Saturday 30 October 2010
Monday 25 October 2010
Blessings in Disguise
Blessings in Disguise.
This statement can only and is only used when we figure out that the path we aspired to take, was wrong. Gravely wrong. Something where left would have stayed left and didn't become right would have been a real issue in our life. Sometimes we cry and question why we feel so much anguish and pain at the time but as the infamous saying goes "Everything happens for a reason", is completely true. Because in that, we have been taught a lesson, perhaps one we understand and yet still-if we fail; then we are forced to feel.
Blessings in Disguise(s) aren't something that are revealed overnight. It takes time, effort,dedication to find out why what went wrong, went wrong. Sometimes, if we're patient enough (not really known to be human nature), God opens doors for us Himself. And that day, as in my previous poem "Unanswered Prayers", we surely do learn the Universe most definately knows whats best for us.
I once had a friend whom whilst i was on the train, phoned me crying. She said she hadn't got the job that she had prepared for, for over a month. She cried until her eyes were raw red and nearly lost her voice when i saw her later that night and as i sat there, she snarled. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE A MASSIVE GRIN ON YOUR FACE FOR NADIA...I TRIED SO HARD FOR THIS AND I FAILED...!?"
I simply sat there and smiled at her and said " God has better plans for you. You may not beileve it. He does." And i let her cry. Rejection is a bitch, it stings...We all sadly know.
5 months into this situation and one day i got a call from an ex-colleague who so happened to work for the same company that my friend got rejected from. Later that evening, over dinner she told me that the boss whom my friend was to work for had been arrested and charged with rape and other sexual assault(s). He was known to prey on young attractive interns. My friend fit the description. I sat there and thanked God several times over for saving her. 2 days later i went round to her place and gave her the news. She was stunned, floored and gobsmacked. I asked her " Are you still sad you didn't make the cut?" She shook her head relentlessly and said "I'm so relieved and grateful i was saved...it was torture at the time but we can't see the future babe!". I replied "But God..can."
Another time when someone goes to Prison is a remarkable one. It either changes you, forces you to think of the person you are and the exposed stain that you have chosen to leave your family to bear through society's backchat or simply makes you more violent and ranking with Baphomet. Relationships, also a key factor. When someone chooses to walk out of your life, it usually tears you apart. You search for answers wondering and wishing they were given. 10 times out of 10, that person wasn't right for you. There IS someone out there not perfect albeit but right for you. And thats what counts.
You'd rather find out now and curb the hurt than make a commitment (not only on paper) and chance the gamble at the table. Simply isn't worth it.
So, on a concluding note. Let me say it again. EVERYTHING in this life happens for a reason. Learn to be thankful more for your tears than smiles because that water teaches you more direction than your gleaming sparkly teeth to the world, ever have or will.
This statement can only and is only used when we figure out that the path we aspired to take, was wrong. Gravely wrong. Something where left would have stayed left and didn't become right would have been a real issue in our life. Sometimes we cry and question why we feel so much anguish and pain at the time but as the infamous saying goes "Everything happens for a reason", is completely true. Because in that, we have been taught a lesson, perhaps one we understand and yet still-if we fail; then we are forced to feel.
Blessings in Disguise(s) aren't something that are revealed overnight. It takes time, effort,dedication to find out why what went wrong, went wrong. Sometimes, if we're patient enough (not really known to be human nature), God opens doors for us Himself. And that day, as in my previous poem "Unanswered Prayers", we surely do learn the Universe most definately knows whats best for us.
I once had a friend whom whilst i was on the train, phoned me crying. She said she hadn't got the job that she had prepared for, for over a month. She cried until her eyes were raw red and nearly lost her voice when i saw her later that night and as i sat there, she snarled. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE A MASSIVE GRIN ON YOUR FACE FOR NADIA...I TRIED SO HARD FOR THIS AND I FAILED...!?"
I simply sat there and smiled at her and said " God has better plans for you. You may not beileve it. He does." And i let her cry. Rejection is a bitch, it stings...We all sadly know.
5 months into this situation and one day i got a call from an ex-colleague who so happened to work for the same company that my friend got rejected from. Later that evening, over dinner she told me that the boss whom my friend was to work for had been arrested and charged with rape and other sexual assault(s). He was known to prey on young attractive interns. My friend fit the description. I sat there and thanked God several times over for saving her. 2 days later i went round to her place and gave her the news. She was stunned, floored and gobsmacked. I asked her " Are you still sad you didn't make the cut?" She shook her head relentlessly and said "I'm so relieved and grateful i was saved...it was torture at the time but we can't see the future babe!". I replied "But God..can."
Another time when someone goes to Prison is a remarkable one. It either changes you, forces you to think of the person you are and the exposed stain that you have chosen to leave your family to bear through society's backchat or simply makes you more violent and ranking with Baphomet. Relationships, also a key factor. When someone chooses to walk out of your life, it usually tears you apart. You search for answers wondering and wishing they were given. 10 times out of 10, that person wasn't right for you. There IS someone out there not perfect albeit but right for you. And thats what counts.
You'd rather find out now and curb the hurt than make a commitment (not only on paper) and chance the gamble at the table. Simply isn't worth it.
So, on a concluding note. Let me say it again. EVERYTHING in this life happens for a reason. Learn to be thankful more for your tears than smiles because that water teaches you more direction than your gleaming sparkly teeth to the world, ever have or will.
Monday 11 October 2010
The Altar
He stands at the Altar,
Knowing what happens next-will falter,
His teeth gleaming in the sunlight.
Inside-his heart puts up an undying fight.
She's stood there, beautiful and pristine,
Cool and fresh as listerine,
She loves this man, She loves him so
Little does she know how low he will go.
His heart crumbling under the pressure,
Waiting, knowing, wanting-all the lesser,
A sugar coated quinine,
Someone should tell her what should be seen.
She beileves he's good and pure,
No one can tell her otherwise, she's sure,
The other side of the coin so dark,
Something that will be left on her soul as a mark.
He loves another lady,
All this marriage a sham and all shady,
He's left with no choice
Is she called Louisa, Liz or Lois ?
She cries tears of joy,
Clueless of him and his dark ploy,
The want, The need and The greed,
This man's demonic nature is like a seed.
A seed it is, a seed it will remain,
Married though he may be,it'll always be a strain,
He does as he pleases,
One,two-he'll have as many main squeezes.
The Altar is a sacred space,
She respected it in all her white lace,
He came there with malice in his heart,
And malice it will be to her-just like an infected dart.
Knowing what happens next-will falter,
His teeth gleaming in the sunlight.
Inside-his heart puts up an undying fight.
She's stood there, beautiful and pristine,
Cool and fresh as listerine,
She loves this man, She loves him so
Little does she know how low he will go.
His heart crumbling under the pressure,
Waiting, knowing, wanting-all the lesser,
A sugar coated quinine,
Someone should tell her what should be seen.
She beileves he's good and pure,
No one can tell her otherwise, she's sure,
The other side of the coin so dark,
Something that will be left on her soul as a mark.
He loves another lady,
All this marriage a sham and all shady,
He's left with no choice
Is she called Louisa, Liz or Lois ?
She cries tears of joy,
Clueless of him and his dark ploy,
The want, The need and The greed,
This man's demonic nature is like a seed.
A seed it is, a seed it will remain,
Married though he may be,it'll always be a strain,
He does as he pleases,
One,two-he'll have as many main squeezes.
The Altar is a sacred space,
She respected it in all her white lace,
He came there with malice in his heart,
And malice it will be to her-just like an infected dart.
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